idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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