My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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