I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
