I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
