i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
