yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
