In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
