So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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