Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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