so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
