If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
