Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
