I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
