I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
