these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
