come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i used baking grease as lip gloss
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
