I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
