Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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