im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
