there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
