you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
