No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
