you traded sex for a burrito?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We are all done wearing pants today
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize