yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
this boner is exhausting
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
