Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
