This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
