I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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