butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Reggie can tackle my bush.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
