New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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