I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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