Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
