This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
