Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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