yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize