people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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