Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.

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(678): View more from Georgia

At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2

(908): View more from New Jersey

Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick

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(207): View more from Maine

I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project

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(512): View more from Texas

I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."

(512): View more from Texas

No more tequila EVER.

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(272): View more from

He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!

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