I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Two words: blizzard sex
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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