You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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