i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
