Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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