My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
