There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
