I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize