My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
