Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
