did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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