i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize