what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
