just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
