I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
