only if we run a train.
done.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
