For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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