put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
