Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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