just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
