I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
