Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
