Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
