Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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