Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
