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watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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