I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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