google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We need to rekindle our bromance
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize