Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
