Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
