we made out on top of his cat.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
