i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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