I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
