eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize