You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
