i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Of course I have a pirate flag
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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