but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
