Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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