i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
