Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What a dumb baby whore.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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