This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
