My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
