new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize