My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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