Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
